To: dick

Re: Meeting today

Our meeting today really went well, don’t you think? At one point my blood was boiling and I was almost ready to punch you in the face. Fortunately, common sense and the lack of fighting skills prevented that. But enough kidding, I seriously do enjoy discussing technical software matters with someone who is not even able to check in the changes of his working copy. As a matter of fact, I think it’s noteworthy and actually very funny that the CEO is messing around the code base in the first place.

Frankly, I really appreciate that you deeply care how stuff is implemented and what kind of tools we are using. So far, it has been a real fun challenge to try and explain the sometimes mysterious ways of the code to you. Also, please allow me to point out that your lack of trust really is a great stimulant for me to get up early and give it my best. Additionally, it gives me a great level of comfort that each and every implementation detail will be reviewed by an expert like you.

I really appreciate the fact that we (the developers) always are put last though we were the first to get cut on our salaries (even though we were responsible for most of the profit). Likewise, it always is fun to be called into a meeting just as you are about to shut down for the day. It’s nice to feel important after everything else (including the shit on the carpet) has been dealt with. I also appreciate that you never know when those meetings will be finished as there’s no agenda. It really keeps things fresh that way.

Last but not least I want to remark that I think that purely subjective performance reviews by management are a great idea. Test results or peer-to-peer reviews are probably a myth and all those metrics take time to evaluate anyway. I welcome this simplification because I know that you in your infinite wisdom will be able to review the complete array of our abilities most perfectly.

Thank you for being a dick, I really appreciate it.

Best,

Simone